Why are all the manifestos so rubbish?

So all the manifestos are now out for voters to pore over. Given the amount of fuss the parties have made about these documents, you’d think they might outsell Fifty Shades of Grey.

Sadly the reality is that these verbose tomes are less bonkbuster and more borebuster: they’re not written for voters to read, only for sad politicos who are paid to pore over them for fine details. They are getting longer and longer as the years go on, yet politicians don’t seem to be doing a better job at impressing voters, or indeed winning elections.

The Tory 2015 manifesto has 82 pages and 34,000 words, up from 28,000 in 2010. Nick Clegg may end up with only 30 MPs after the election, but he inflicted 157 pages of promises and 36,000 words on the electorate.

Clegg’s Lib Dems and Ukip were the most self-indulgent parties, producing around 36,000 words each. Labour’s was shorter than its 28,000 offering in 2010 – but even that was 20,000 words and 83 pages.