Why Anjem Choudary should not be in prison

It was impossible not to feel rather sorry for the radical Muslim ‘cleric’ Anjem Choudary and his imbecilic henchman Mohammed Rahman as they were each sentenced to five and a half years in prison by a British court. ‘Allahu Akbar!’ his supporters chanted as the sentence was delivered, an invigorating, all-purpose phrase used during decapitations, bombings or just as one is walking down the street. I have taken to using it as well recently, most especially at a critical juncture when I am pleasuring my wife. I think she appreciates it, although I would not be so ungentlemanly as to wake her up and ascertain for sure.

Mr Choudary and his pet halfwit have received their sentences largely, I think, for wishing the complete destruction of western civilisation. I too yearn for this from time to time, such as when I am forced to contemplate a semi-naked Keith Vaz instructing his Slavic rent boys to ‘Treat me like a bitch!’ or whenever I see or hear or smell Labour’s shadow Brexit minister, Emily Thornberry. Wishing for the destruction of an entire civilisation simply on account of these two porky weasels, or because Justin Welby has said something fatuous again, is of course a grotesque overreaction. But we all overreact from time to time. I remember my wife, whom I mentioned earlier, remark while watching an edition of Question Time featuring the comedian Eddie Izzard: ‘Christ help us, please let’s move to Russia.’ That was an overreaction, too.

The important thing is to think these thoughts, by all means, and perhaps share them with friends and family, but not let them teeter over into actual deeds. Indeed, having a retinue of like-minded people with whom we can occasionally divest-ourselves of dark thoughts may help to prevent us from crouching down at the end of a high street with a fully loaded Kalashnikov.