Petronella Wyatt has narrated this article for you to listen to.
One of my exes is trying to get me arrested. I discovered this when I received an email from the Met Police saying that he had accused me of stealing his belongings. As he is not a British citizen, the nice policeman I spoke to said I need do nothing in response. I was puzzled, until I remembered that after we had parted ways my ex had said: ‘I’d like to see you behind bars.’ I hadn’t realised he had meant it literally. The bastard.
When we parted ways, my ex had said: ‘I’d like to see you behind bars.’ I hadn’t realised he meant literally
I wondered what I had seen in him, apart from his looking like a lovesick Satan. I have consistently willed myself to accommodate men whose teeth I should have knocked out. There was my former beau Henry (not his real name, of course).
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