Memo to terrorists: you’ve missed your opportunity. It’s too late now. Just pack up and go home.
John Smeaton – the Pride of the Clyde and scourge of terrorists everywhere – returns to work today. Mr Smeaton, sharp-brained readers will recall, is the baggage handler who famously “set aboot” the lunatics who tried to bomb Glasgow Airport last month, delivering a swift and punishing kicking to the would-be terrorists.
Mr Smeaton became the embodiment of Glasgow’s image of itself: pawky but hard as nails, proud to live up to the old motto of Kings of Scotland, Nemo Me Impune Lacessit – roughly translated as Wha Daur Meddle Wi Me? or No-one Attacks Me With Impunity. In fact, as the terrific Smeato fansite demonstrates, Smeatomania has reached splendidly absurd levels.
As The Scotsman reports:
Come 2pm today, Mr Smeaton will step back into the breach in his position as a senior ramp assistant at Glasgow Airport, with CNN – the US-based news channel that aired one of his first interviews – even sending a crew back to Scotland to document his return to Airway Handling Ltd… …From the moment his adrenalin- fuelled Glaswegian patois was broadcast across rolling news channels, Mr Smeaton’s uncompromising recount of his actions won him an army of admirers.
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