Which female media star wrote the right-wing Revolt? It says a lot that we can’t think of many candidates

I am still trying to get some sort of closure. For almost three weeks now I have been tormented by memories of Newsnight’s Kirsty Wark dancing to the song ‘Thriller’ at the close of her programme, something presumably intended as a light-hearted Halloween treat for the eight or nine remaining viewers. It was not a light-hearted treat for me. I have always harboured the suspicion that Ms Wark is indeed a zombie, an innocent cadaver disinterred by shadowy persons within the left-wing Scottish establishment — the Baron McSamedis — and subjected to some awful supernatural process before being released into the world to do their vile bidding. Watching Kirsty lumber along with a troupe of dancers dressed as pretend zombies served merely to confirm this fact for me. She was utterly convincing, and not a drop of special effects make-up had been applied. While the others gurned along in cheerfully ghoulish histrionics, Kirsty’s cold, dead eyes really gave the game away.