When it comes to Brexit, everything that can be tried will always fail

It is all beginning to feel like the closing scenes of the 1980 spoof comedy film Airplane! In particular the bit where, as the stricken jet is coming in to land, someone in the control tower suggests putting on the runway lights to help a little. ‘No,’ says Captain Rex Kramer, ‘that’s just what they’ll be expecting us to do.’ The most basic explanation for the chaos in parliament is that the political divide in the House of Commons does not remotely match the political divide in the country, on Brexit or indeed on most issues, surely. But that shouldn’t stop us revelling in the multifarious paradoxes which have come as a consequence. (And don’t call me Shirley.)

Take Magic Grandpa. Here is a man who is deeply, viscerally and ideologically opposed to the European Union doing his level best to keep us in it. Mr Corbyn has also been demanding a general election — now! —when it is the very last thing he wants. He is therefore in the position of arguing with great vehemence for two things, neither of which he remotely believes in. This is a continuation of the paradox that thrilled us so much during the time of Theresa May’s tenure as prime minister. A leader who wanted us to remain leading the charge to get us out, opposed by a leader of the opposition who wanted us out doing his best, again, to keep us in.

Corbyn has been forced into his current position by his parliamentary party, which is overwhelmingly pro-Remain. The paradox — again — is that Labour constituencies are overwhelmingly in favour of leaving, by about two to one. It is impossible, then, given these anomalies, to expect consistency or rationality from Magic Grandpa, even if one were to allow that he had the capacity for rationality in the first place.