When did the world become so overwhelming? 

When the clouds come down and the mountains disappear I feel myself disappearing too. As long as I can see the beautiful scenery I never regret coming here, but on days when a white-out envelops us it’s no consolation that the horizon is still out there somewhere.

I feel trapped and lonely and lost and disorientated. The frightening things of the world are overwhelming.

‘I need to get out. I can’t sit here all day,’ I told the builder boyfriend who came through the French windows beaming with the satisfaction derived from cutting out old stock fencing to make way for the all-weather gallop he’s promised me.

His smile evaporated when he saw me sitting at the kitchen table on my laptop, typing into the website of the Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency (MHRA).