Whatever happened to ‘Snog first, talk later’?

Sometimes I sit my nieces down and treat them to tales of dating in the dark ages, before iPhones arrived to save teenkind. Poor nieces. Though they scuff their Uggs on the carpet and stare longingly at the door, I carry on.

When I was your age, I say, we had no access to boys. Those of us at mixed schools had a few limp options, and the rest relied on miracles: a hottie met by chance on holiday; a friend’s brother’s friend. There was no social media, no looking someone up, so unless you bagged your hottie sharpish he vanished. Boys surfaced like rare sea-mammals for single sightings before sinking back into the fathomless unknown.

No googling! Can you believe it, nieces? They can’t. They’re the Snapchat generation, born as the century turned. Life for them is a ceaseless stream of silent chatter, back and forth with pals, on apps. After puberty, they simply swipe through the catalogue of boykind, picking and choosing who to pursue.