Dear Father Christmas, please fill my stocking with the following goodies:
A referendum on Britain’s future in Europe… Or, a Linguaphone course to brush up my German.
A new shadow chancellor. The old one doesn’t really work any more.
A straitjacket to stop George Alagiah waving his arms around so much when he is presenting the BBC News.
During the Jubilee celebrations, a minute’s standing ovation, nationwide, for the Duke of Edinburgh.
A protest march through Islington by striking taxpayers.
An announcement from David Cameron that he is scrapping the Ministerial and Other Pensions and Salaries Act 1991, which granted pay-offs to Cabinet ministers. (The Act was also responsible for setting the Commons Speaker’s indecently generous pension. Double bingo!)
A gift-wrapped P45 for Dame Suzy Leather, lefty head of the Charity Commission; Grade II listed status for Jeremy Paxman; Prozac for Sir Mervyn King.
An end to ‘impact assessments’ by Whitehall. They cost the country a fortune and merely create opportunities for lawyers and special interest lobbies.
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