What I learned from being debanked

My own debanking story concerns a card rather than a bank account. Not the same degree of inconvenience as Nigel Farage, but a similarly telling insight into modern administrative culture. I feel awkward writing this, because in the 30 years I have used American Express, including an enjoyable decade when I also worked for the brand as a copywriter, few companies have impressed me more. They are unfailingly courteous and responsive. On many occasions, such as when arriving at an airport to discover I had to pay £4,000 for an unratified airline ticket, my card has been invaluable; I willingly follow their advice not to leave home without it.

But one evening last year Amex didn’t do nicely. There’s a special feeling to having a Platinum card declined. In Monaco or Palm Beach it might be fashionably raffish; this was at McDonald’s in Stratford-upon-Avon.

You must endlessly justify your productivity to the finance department, but how productive is your finance department? Nobody knows

Some months earlier, to comply with ‘anti-terrorism and money-laundering legislation’, they’d asked me for photographs of the passports of all cardholders on my account.