Here’s a tip for nowt: if you’re thinking of travelling to Italy, don’t keep a dildo in your washbag.
Here’s a tip for nowt: if you’re thinking of travelling to Italy, don’t keep a dildo in your washbag. Put it somewhere that intimates to the authorities a certain discretion and reserve. You don’t want to inflame the Italian public: show them a naked dildo and they may very rapidly reach the conclusion that you are Satan, or more likely one of his infernal handmaidens, and probably guilty of everything.
The only people who come out of the Foxy Knoxy affair with any credit are the family of the murdered British girl, Meredith Kercher, who expressed quiet bafflement at the acquittal of Amanda Knox and Raffaele Sollecito, but added that they respected the decision of the Italian court. They have been, throughout the last four years, the only party not to have behaved like shrieking, partisan mentals; and perhaps the only party who had a right to actually do so.
One assumes they had their fingers crossed when they made that comment about respecting the Italian court, mind. If they do, they’re about the only ones. The case against Knox and Sollecito was undermined firstly by police and forensic incompetence and secondly by a chief prosecutor who closely resembles one of those deranged maniacs from a Monty Python sketch. Giuliano Mignini is a man obsessed by Satan, witchcraft and all kinds of devilment, as well as the Freemasons. Show him a parking violation and he’ll probably claim Beelzebub is behind it. He has, in the past, dragged the Infernal Lord and Master into a number of cases where his presence was not really required. He has accused journalists of Satanism, as well as showing a predilection for locking them up on unspecified charges when they criticise his procedures.

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