Bah humbug
Some of the things reported to have been banned this Christmas:
— Mulled wine banned from being sold by street traders at Christmas fayres in Castleford, West Yorkshire, on the grounds it would break a Public Spaces Protection Order designed to stop street drinkers.
— Christmas lights banned by health and safety officers in Pembury, Kent, on the grounds they each weighed more than 4kg.
— Children banned from sending more than one Christmas card each to classmates at Belton Lane Primary School, Grantham, on the grounds that cards are environmentally unfriendly.
— Glitter banned from Marks and Spencer cards, wrapping paper and decorations.
Crystal balls
What psychics said would happen in 2019:
— ‘Duchess of Sussex to have baby girl; Philip Hammond to launch Tory leadership bid’: Nicolas Aujula, who claims to have been an Egyptian queen in a previous life.
— ‘People of North Korea will overthrow their government; tsunami in Halifax,
Nova Scotia; Apple and Samsung merge’: Nikki, ‘psychic to the stars’.
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