As last week I believe I provided the world’s first entirely interrogative film review, I thought that this week I would up the stakes and embroider this review on antimacassars, in mirror writing — this has also never been done before, as far as I know — but time, alas, proved my great enemy, so I’m afraid I have simply written it in verse instead. I hope you will forgive me.
Avengers Assemble, my lovelies, is ‘the superhero event of the year’,
And if this gets you all excited, you probably have nothing to fear.
But if big action so big it’s humongous just isn’t really your thing,
You may find, as I did, it drags, with its surfeit of CGI bling.
The fact is the earth is in peril, you won’t be surprised to learn,
As there’s a villain afoot called Loki, as played by Tom Hiddleston.
Loki purrs and taunts and is well camp, with a mullet plus helmet with horns,
But don’t be deceived, my lovelies, as he’s the most evil baddie ever born!
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Loki has stolen ‘The Tesseract’, a glowing cube that can do cool stuff;
It can supply the world with unlimited energy but, as if that weren’t enough,
It can also open a portal, a portal to — gulp! — ‘outer space’,
And Loki plans to summon an alien army, one that’ll kill off the human race.
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