Weight watching

Can there be anything more disorientating than turning up at a restaurant to have dinner with someone who has brought a pair of digital scales with them to weigh their food?

‘What the hell are you doing?’ I said, as my friend pulled the state-of-the-art Salter slimline model from his briefcase the moment we sat down at our table.

‘I told you, I’m going to be weighing everything I eat from now on,’ he said assertively. ‘Don’t argue with me about this, I warned you I would be bringing them.’

My friend had indeed rung to warn me that he would be bringing a set of scales with him that evening, but naturally I assumed he was joking. Also, by set of scales I assumed he meant the sort you stand on. I thought the big joke was that he would be weighing himself before and after eating. It never occurred to me that he would be weighing the food.