The Spectator

We have a winner, Ms. Moneypolly

The best suggestion by a Coffee Houser for a new author of James Bond stories was Simon Chapman who proposed The Guardian’s in-house funster, Polly Toynbee. A bottle of champagne is on its way to Simon: congratulations! Here is how we think the book might begin:

DIAMONDS ARE FOR TAXING by Polly Toynbee

Bond walked at a brisk pace, checking the time on his Rolex Oyster Perpetual: he was late for his meeting with M. An engagement at his tailor in Conduit street had delayed him: unavoidable. In life, there were always priorities. He reached for his black gun-metal cigarette case and black oxidised Ronson lighter and then remembered, with irritation, that smoking had been banned throughout the Service. The woman responsible, Miss Moneypolly, stood in the doorway.

“You’re late, James. Don’t forget that you are a public sector worker like anyone else.

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