We crave certainty over Covid-19. There isn’t any

One of the strangest developments to have occurred during this very strange time is that the Prime Minister’s special adviser, Dominic Cummings, may have attended a meeting of some people. Worse, various politicians are suggesting that he may have actually said something at this meeting. Very senior people are insisting that if Mr Cummings did say something at this meeting, even if we have no idea as to what it was he said (‘Can you fetch the Gummy Bears please, Mary, I think this going to be a long one’ or ‘Sorry, Zoom is on the blink again’), then he shouldn’t have done so. The Prime Minister’s special adviser attending a meeting! I think of all the various calumnies which have occurred during this crisis, this is by far the gravest. Someone should table some questions. ‘Can the Prime Minister confirm that his special adviser attended a meeting and, further, the two later wilfully discussed the events of that meeting? If so, should he not resign?’

If the uncompromising bacterium Yersinia pestis had descended on us all, rather than the ectoplasmic virus Covid-19, and the population of the UK reduced by two thirds with vast funeral pyres in our cities, then there would still be sufficient people left to do nothing but fume over the existence of Mr Cummings.