We are up against 20 years of planning

Saira Khan recalls the moment she met relatives in  the hijab for the first time and one of them told her:  ‘We are not British, we are Muslim

In July 1989 I had an experience that scared and alienated me, but also made me realise who I was and, more importantly, who I was not — and would never be.

I was 18 and in my first year at Brighton University, where I was studying for a BA in Humanities. I was meeting new people — people of different religions, cultures, ages, sexual orientation, experiences and interests. I was growing up, realising for the first time that there was a world other than the one my parents talked about constantly — the world of Long Eaton (where I lived) and Pakistan. I was discovering that I had a lot more in common with British non-Muslims than I had hitherto realised.

That summer two relatives of my mum’s — girls of my own age — came to stay with us, as they had done often in the past.