In Competition No. 2859 you were invited to submit an offputting party political broadcast by the Tories, Labour, the Lib Dems, the Greens or Ukip.
Basil Ransome-Davies wasn’t alone in revealing the ruthlessness that lurks beneath the tree-hugging veneer of the Greens. He gets an honourable mention, as does Adrian Fry, who recruited Jimmy Savile as Tory spokesman: can’t get more repellent than that. The ones that shone brightest in what was a surprisingly small entry appear below and are rewarded with £25 each. Frank Upton takes the bonus fiver.
Sustainability— the word on all our lips. A Green government will put YOU at the heart of sustainability! We will: grant endangered species the vote; introduce government by video-conference, allowing Westminster to be returned to its natural riparian wetland habitat; enrol willing teens in the Young Environmentalists, with privileged access to higher education and grant funding; provide every person each month with an unbleached linen bag of ‘greenbacks’, recycled plastic banknotes that can be spent on approved sustainable products; reserve the inside lane on motorways for bicycles; repurpose Heathrow as a wind farm with low-impact peasant agriculture; build 200,000 new affordable homes, without using any land or putting them next to anything; appoint a Climate Pontiff, whose pronouncements made ex cathedra on a point of climate science will be infallible; and make all political promises fully biodegradable.
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