It suddenly occurred to me that I need to stop dressing like a radical lesbian bag lady if I am going to ingratiate myself with the voters in the constituency in which I am, perhaps unwisely, standing for the SDP. ‘Always look better than them’ is the injunction made by Steve Martin in the underrated film Leap of Faith: he plays a charlatan evangelistic preacher, which is not a million miles away from standing for parliament, although probably rather more fun.
Logically, you might assume that as far as the polls are concerned, Labour’s lead can only decrease
It’s a tall order – at least five people in my Middlesbrough South and East Cleveland are lithe and under the age of 50. I suppose I had better stop comparing myself to a radical lesbian bag lady as well, just to forestall any offence. But then there is literally no simile or metaphor to describe my appearance which would not offend somebody somewhere.
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