Vice versa

In Competition No. 2380 you were invited to provide a school report by a pupil assessing the qualities of a teacher.

The comp title refers to Anstey’s once widely read fantasy (1882) in which a schoolboy magically changes places with his father, Mr Bultitude, and from then on the boot is on the other foot. My youngest son, whose verbal reports on his teachers have always interested me more than their written ones on him, helped me judge this lot. Some of the plums he picked out were: ‘He thinks Paris is the capital of France. He needs a good kick up the arse’; ‘Attendance: satisfactory, except for the time he had that complete nervous breakdown’; and ‘He should make more effort to learn names. Some take advantage of their anonymity’. The winners, printed below, get £25 each, except for Alanna Blake who nets £30.

Mr Farker is freindly which is probally because he is quiet young.