Uncle Gary breaks his silence

It was only a matter of time before the silence of Uncle Gary would be broken. Last seen splashed across the pages of the News of the World snorting cocaine at his Ibiza villa La Maison De Bang Bang, the black sheep of the Middleton family has given an interview to Hello! magazine.  The magazine are famed for high spending for their exclusive scoops, and refuse to deny paying Gary Goldsmith for the interview.

Kate and Wills will no doubt be delighted with the details about how Uncle Gary taught them to DJ, and then hosted Kate at the villa after William had dumped her in 2007. On the subject of his tabloid sting back 2009, Gary claims that Carole Middleton immediately phoned and ‘apologised and said this wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for the fact of who Kate was dating’. Mr Steerpike imagines that was exactly how the conversation went.