Ukraine wants its nuclear weapons back

Kyiv

Had America and the Soviet Union ever fought the battle of Armageddon, it would have started from beneath a patch of muddy fields a few hours’ drive south of Kyiv. It’s here, in an underground base near the once-closed town of Pervomaisk, that Moscow housed 80 strategic nuclear missiles, all pointed at the US. Today it’s a museum, a dark tourism excursion, with a 120-foot long ‘Satan’ missile on display. Satan carried 10 warheads plus 40 decoys, and could have single-handedly flattened Britain. The only disappointment, for the Dr Strangeloves among us, is the base’s ‘nuclear button’ – not a red switch with a skull-and-crossbones, but a dull grey key on a VHS-style console marked ‘Start Up’. The really sobering detail, however, is that whoever had pressed it might not have been sober at all. According to our museum guide, Olena, the curators discovered four litres of vodka stashed in the command centre when they first took it over.