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[/audioplayer]I think I’ve cracked it. If you want to springboard your minor political party into the mainstream and take British politics by storm, then all you need to do is go on and on about helping the poor.
You don’t need to do much else. You certainly don’t need to modify your policies so that they actually help the poor. This would be overkill. Nor, frankly, do you even need to be 100 per cent up to speed on who the poor are. Feel free to conflate them with the elderly or the skilled working class or people who aren’t from London, or pretty much anybody, really. Steer clear only of easily identifiable actual minorities which your potential voters will know for certain they aren’t in. And don’t worry for a moment about any contradictions this broad approach might throw up. Heavens, no. Because the point here, remember, is not to actually help the poor. Screw that. No, the point is to discombobulate everybody else.
Chiefly discombobulated will be liberal, redistributive types, who were previously under the impression that it was they who were on the side of the poor, perhaps because they support policies designed to tangibly improve impoverished lives and stuff. This sort of objection is easily dealt with, though. ‘Aha!’ you must say to these people. ‘But you know nothing of the poor! Because you are out of touch!’
This will discombobulate them further. For they will not feel out of touch, these people, and certainly not compared with you. This will be on account of the way they probably live in cities, cheek by jowl with those less fortunate, and share streets, schools, hospitals, buses and lives with them on a daily basis.
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