Vice-presidential debates rarely matter in politics except as fodder for jokes and, for today’s lazier commentariat, memes of the lesser variety. The greatest moment in modern vice-presidential debate history is Lloyd Bentsen’s ‘you’re no Jack Kennedy’ zinger of Dan Quayle, a debate win so effective that Bentsen and Michael Dukakis lost 40 states. Dick Cheney and Joe Lieberman’s debate played out like a fireside chat between old friends. Joe Biden’s debates with Sarah Palin and Paul Ryan are mostly notable because watching them now puts in perspective how much the lifelong politician has faded into an ethereal ghost in his final years. Mike Pence won both of his vice-presidential debates against Tim Kaine and Kamala Harris fairly easily, but was mocked by the staggering corpse of today’s Saturday Night Live because a fly briefly landed on his head. The fly was played by Jim Carrey, but sadly, it was not funny.
It’s unlikely that tonight’s debate will be any different, but for the sake of consideration, let’s think through how it could be.
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