To catch a king

The Other Boleyn Girl
12A, Nationwide

The Other Boleyn Girl, based on the bestselling historical romance by Philippa Gregory, stars Natalie Portman as Anne Boleyn and Scarlett Johansson as the other girl, her ‘plainer’ sister Mary, which, considering Scarlett Johansson has just been voted the most beautiful woman in the world, must be a lesson in Hollywood logic in and of itself. Still, do not despair, at least not until you are ten minutes in, at which point, if you are still awake, you will be despairing like crazy while wishing you’d stayed in.

Here’s the deal: we have Anne, the pretty one, and Mary, the plainer one whom we are not meant to clock isn’t plain at all, and they have an ambitious father (Mark Rylance) and an ambitious uncle, the Duke of Norfolk (David Morrissey). Both wish to advance their own power and status by having one of the girls snare the King.