I had to transfer some money into my Polish builder’s bank account the other day, so I rang up the Lloyds TSB Execmaster Super VIP service helpline.
I had to transfer some money into my Polish builder’s bank account the other day, so I rang up the Lloyds TSB Execmaster Super VIP service helpline. As usual, I wasn’t permitted just to make my transaction and get on with my life. First, the helpful person at the other end impressed on me, I would really need to sort out my bank accounts. Currently, he had noticed, I held my money in a Greyman Ordinaire Current account and a Crapmeister Lo-Interest Saver account and this was losing me money.
‘Have you thought about transferring your funds into one of our new Spanglo Plutocrat Wealth-Enhancer Imperator accounts?’
‘Not really,’ I replied. ‘Whenever I say “Yes” to these things, I find I spend the next half hour being transferred from department to department, till eventually someone asks me lots of boring, Euro-regulatory due-diligence questions for an account I never really wanted that much in the first place.
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