Three reasons why Labour might not actually want to govern

There’s an episode of The New Statesman in which geologists discover that there’s no more oil in the North Sea and the British economy is about to crash; as a result all the parties try their best to lose the election so as not to carry the can for the next five years. Alan B’Stard, put in charge of the Tory campaign because they think him a liability, appears in the election video with Page 3 girls offering free bingo to the voters. Unfortunately, this proves a huge hit with the electorate.

A conspiracy theorist might think this is actually happening today, judging by the inertia of the major parties. There’s certainly the argument that, from a Conservative point of view (and assuming you personally won’t be adversely affected by the economic consequences, which most of us will), Miliband topping the poll could be a good thing as it would be the most Pyrrhic election victory in British history.