I’d hoped to spend this week writing about my new Geberit Japanese-style toilet, but since the grout is not yet dry, all you filthy toilet-gaijin will have to wait until the new year for my review.
So I thought I’d write instead some reviews of my favourite gadgets of the year. But since our real reasons for buying gadgetry have nothing to do with the hastily contrived post-rationalisations created in the prefrontal cortex, in the interests of impartiality, I have asked my inner chimp to provide an honest second opinion on each.
1) Smart energy meter (free).
Prefrontal cortex verdict: ‘Blah blah blah energy reduction, green industrial revolution, global warming, polar bears.’
Inner chimp: ‘Sod the bears —they’re terrifying. Look, just make sure you put it beside your front door. That way you can check you haven’t left anything switched on when you go out, so you aren’t paranoid about the house catching fire. Hair straighteners are the worst, apparently.’
2) Philips Avance Collection MicroMasticating Juicer (from £200).
PFC: ‘The new generation of masticating food juicers work at lower temperatures and have a much lower rate of oxidation. You can use them to juice leafy greens, to get your five-a-day in liquid form.’
IC: ‘Look, if you want your five-a-day in liquid form, what’s wrong with Pimm’s? On the other hand you can use this to crush ginger, banana and strawberry into a juice and then add vodka over ice. How is that not cool? Besides, when you reassemble the device after rinsing it, you feel like Edward Fox assembling his gun in The Day of the Jackal. Love it.’
3) Naim Audio Mu-so Wireless Bluetooth Music System (from £650).
PFC: ‘Naim has brought out a new generation of this product from £1,200.
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