Dr Phil Hammond is a hilarious and wildly successful comedian whose career is built on the ruins of the NHS. His act has spawned a host of imitators on the stand up-circuit and they share Dr Phil’s confused adoration for the NHS. All of them love the idea of universal healthcare but they dislike the messy practical details. And they’re convinced that extra cash will save the system. The evidence suggests otherwise; handing more money to the NHS is like giving a gambling addict the keys to a bullion van.
The gallows humour is delightful if you’re not stuck in an NHS queue
Dr Phil claims that he would gladly pay higher taxes because the NHS has to scrape by on ‘third-world funding’. This is part of the difficulty. Even a well-informed source like Dr Phil pretends that spending billions a month and employing 1.5 million staff makes Britain a ‘third-world’ country. He’s joined on stage by an unthreatening sidekick, Dame Clare Gerada, who prefers prejudice to comedy. She complains that Brexit led to staff shortages and to problems with the supply of vital medicines. Ultimately, she claims, leaving the EU killed more people than Covid.
Dr Phil and Dame Clare have an evident distaste for the wealthy (a group from which they exclude themselves, of course) and they question the wisdom of allowing rich people to use the NHS at all. Dr Phil suggests that anyone who pays taxes in the Cayman Islands should have the right to call an ambulance – provided it comes from the Cayman Islands. Dame Clare adds that it would probably arrive more quickly than an NHS ambulance. Their gallows humour is delightful if you’re not a patient stuck in an NHS queue.
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