‘They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He shends one of yoursh to the hospital, you shend one of hish to the morgue.’ Thus Sean Connery in The Untouchables, explaining how you fight a war ‘Chicago-style’. How would you adapt that, do we think, for our collective response to the Paris attacks? ‘They pull a gun, you pull a hashtag. They send 132 of yours to the morgue, you start calling them a slightly rude name.’
As they say on the internet: srsly?
Imagine you’re in Raqqa, having at last made hijrah from the family semi in Dudley. You’re chillaxing, maybe having a bit of a kickabout with the head of an apostate, when your friend calls you over to his laptop.
‘Look, brother. The kufirs have reacted to the blessed martyrdom operations in the hated capital of prostitution and garlic!’
‘What are they doing? Launching a ground invasion? Closing their borders?’
‘No — they’re — haha — they’re… you’ll not believe this, bruv.
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