Simon Hoggart

The writing on the wall

Imagine the scene at some BBC committee meeting.

issue 03 October 2009

Imagine the scene at some BBC committee meeting. The Chief Officer for Commissioning, Unit Programming is setting out the problem. ‘Gentlemen, recent controversies — the Ross/Brand phone calls, the ongoing problem of Ross’s £6 million annual salary, which is more than the entire budget for a year of the Today programme, our own excessive pay and expenses — have brought mistrust and contempt on our management, which not even the record number of Emmys for Little Dorrit has erased. We urgently need to reclaim the moral and cultural high ground. Any suggestions?’

Up pops an underling: ‘Why don’t we bring back Hole in the Wall?’

COCUP: ‘Ah yes, the programme which brought almost universal scorn from the critics, who complained that it was tedious, childish, unredeemed garbage and called it Hole in the Head. Even Dale Winton — Dale Winton of Supermarket Sweep! — has jumped ship.

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