True or not, there is a persistent story about a former Duke of Devonshire who, seeing some silver napkin rings in Asprey’s, asked his companion what they were for.
‘Your grace, in some households they roll napkins inside these rings so that they can be used for a subsequent meal, rather than being laundered every time.’
‘Good heavens. I never knew such poverty existed in England.’
Later, when the duke decided to board a bus for the first time in his life, it is claimed he beckoned to the conductor: ‘27 Eaton Square, please.’
Not such a ridiculous request, in fact. In many countries you will find ‘jitney’ services halfway between buses and taxis. In Soweto you simply stand by the roadside and deploy one of a vast range of hand signals to indicate where you wish to go (so for Orange Farm, say, you hold up your hand as if picking fruit); soon a packed Toyota minivan headed that way will pull over and pick you up.
It is a great shame we can’t introduce something similar in London, simply for the fun of devising hand signals for different parts of the city. For Clapham’s nappy valley, you would intertwine your fingers as though cradling a baby; for Croydon, you would crunch your hair into a grotesque topknot; for Tottenham you could stand in the road and point an imaginary gun at the driver.
For all its craziness the Soweto system does present a vision of the future; in ten years’ time, London buses could operate dynamically, rather than running along set routes. All that is needed is a wider adoption of smart phones and some clever algorithms to match demand with supply. A really smart, redistributive system might allow future dukes to pay a premium for the bus to divert through Eaton Square, while compensating other passengers for the diversion.
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