The weird world of Masterchef

‘What’s that earthy flavour in the sauce?’ ‘It’s a black Himalayan moss which monkeys find an aphrodisiac.’

If 2020 has been the weirdest year the modern world has known, that was well and truly reflected in Masterchef, The Professionals.

Because this year’s series, the 13th annual, dispensed with its own unwritten rules. For years the received wisdom had been just to cook some meat or fish in a modern European style with traditional pairings. If you wanted to be dangerous you might put a square of dark chocolate in the sauce for your venison but even this was usually considered de trop; if you wanted to be playful use popcorn.

The nervous hopefuls would be herded in and set a ‘skills test’ while being asked if they had been ‘classically trained’. Most replied yes, meaning in reality that they long ago did a catering NVQ at sixth form college, learning classics like ‘trifle’ – but Marcus Wareing would take their affirmative to indicate that they were intimately familiar with the top 100 sauces of Escoffier, leading to frequent comic culinary disaster.