Melissa Kite Melissa Kite

The trials and tribulations of getting a plumber

iStock 
issue 15 June 2024

‘Please, I’ll do anything,’ I told the plumber. ‘I’ll give you all the money I have if you just come back here for one day and connect the new hot water system.’

The plumber said no bother, he would come this weekend. But he says that every week, and every weekend when he doesn’t come he says he’ll come the next week. And the next week he says he’ll come at the weekend, and so on. And this has been going on for months. Which is nothing, apparently.

Frankly, the builder boyfriend could go to college and get a degree in plumbing faster than we could get a plumber

It is well known, and was made quite clear to us before we bought this beautiful old rundown Georgian house, that you cannot get a plumber in Ireland.

There are people here who have been waiting for years for a plumber. Two years is standard. An English artist up the lane has brown water coming out of her taps, no washing machine, no shower, and claims she hasn’t had any heating for five years.

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