The Starmers are sexy

I’d all but forgotten about David Cameron when he returned as foreign secretary under the last government, and the first thing I remembered about him, when he returned, was his chin. By which I mean its prim absence and how, combined with those thin lips and tiny mouth, more like a fish’s than a person’s, I have always found the man deeply unhandsome in a very Tory way.

Now we have new leadership, and with it, a new paradigm of attractiveness. David Lammy, the new Foreign Secretary, is even less handsome than Dave but for different and therefore revitalising reasons. Elsewhere in the cabinet, though, things hot up with the cheek-bony, luscious-locked Angela Rayners and the Rachel Reeves of the world.

But for me, they are the wrong sex to ogle, and thus, to the very top: Starmer himself.