The SDP is the anti-futility party

Two lessons learned from the breakfast buffet at the Hilton Hotel, Deansgate, Manchester. First, the plates are no longer minuscule, but pleasingly broad. However, they consist of a smallish bit in the centre and a gently elevated wide rim – the message being: put the food only in the middle. The outer circle is simply decorative, so don’t be uncouth.

The second is that you are no longer enjoined to help yourself. There’s a bloke there who does the serving for you. So if you go up and say ‘bacon, please’, he will put a piece of bacon on your plate. One piece. The same with the sausages, the fried eggs, the tomatoes. One of each. Of course, you can request more. You can say: ‘I’d like seven hash browns, please.’ I did that on my second morning and he looked at me funny, but I got my hash browns, counted out, one by one.