The rise of the nursery spy app

Do you know what you were doing at 10.03 a.m. last Tuesday? Or what you had for breakfast three weeks ago? I don’t. You probably don’t either – unless you’re a spy, or you’re putting together an alibi for a murder. But like millions of parents, I know these things about my son. Not because I was there, but because I wasn’t.

NurseryCam is supposed to be about peace of mind for the parent. It feels like a slippery slope

My one-year-old goes to a local nursery three days a week. On those days, I know his every movement, bowel or otherwise. This is thanks to an app that parents are asked to download when their child enrols. The app acts as a journal, a record of all the things he’s done and learned, as well as a communication system between parent and carer (‘We need more wipes’; ‘Fancy dress tomorrow’ – that sort of thing). I receive photographs, videos, notes and questions. And I receive them instantly – ding ding ding! – as persistent notifications on my phone.

I’m hooked. It is the app I check most (and that’s saying something) and the one I’m constantly refreshing in the hope of a little dopamine hit of my son’s dopey face. It’s not his screen time I worry about – it’s mine.

My nursery isn’t unusual. Actually, as I discovered when talking to other parents, it’s comparatively restrained. At many nurseries, the software goes well beyond a photo and text journal. The level of detail can be astonishing. Not just naps and meals, but every drink, every hand wash, every single potty attempt, all accompanied by a cute little icon or emoji.

‘Daisy-Rose had a nappy change at 3 p.m. and it was dirty.’

‘Daisy-Rose had an apple at 3.10 p.m.’