The pros and cons of robot vision

Being told I am now both short-sighted and long-sighted feels like someone is playing a very bad joke on me.

I would say I’ve always been as blind as a bat but I don’t want the Bat Society to complain.

Lately, every time I go to the optician a different practitioner has what feels like a wild stab in the dark at changing my contact lens prescription so I can see near and far. Nothing works. And multifocal lenses produce the worst result of all, blurring everything no matter where I focus.

I’ve had so many eye tests that when they put the Clockwork Orange headgear on me and start barking ‘Top line… middle line…’ I just recite the darn chart from memory. Which isn’t helping.

So I had to admit I was doing that. ‘Honestly, I can’t see anything at all. F something. V something.’ ‘What about this?’ ‘Now I can read the bottom line.