The politics of hair dye

‘What are you going to put on my head to protect me?’ said the man outside the barber’s shop to the bemused looking barber.

The builder boyfriend had been standing in the queue for a while and when he got to second in line, as the man in front was asked to step inside, he found himself delayed by a curious argument.

‘What do you mean?’ said the barber, who was wearing a visor, gloves and apron and was more than in accordance with the regulations.

‘I mean,’ said the man, who was one of those arch, self-satisfied types the builder boyfriend finds it all too tempting to make fun of, ‘I mean, what measures are you going to put in place around my head to protect me from Covid as you cut my hair, hmm?’ And then slowly, as if the barber was stupid: ‘What protective equipment do you have for me to put on my head?’

The barber, who was Turkish, looked him up and down and said: ‘Well, if I put bucket on your head I not gonna be able cut your hair, innit?’ The builder b was desperate to laugh but decided to bite his lip.