Car washing is making a comeback

‘Moisture is a car’s worst enemy, Gerald. So why are you washing it?’

So says Julie Walters in the 1985 comedy Car Trouble in which she plays frustrated housewife Jacqueline, whose pernickety husband has transferred his affection to an obsessively pampered Jaguar E-Type.

The Sunday morning scene in which Gerald lovingly polishes the car’s famously phallic bonnet (Jacqueline refers to his ‘penis substitute’ more than once) is one that once took place in streets and suburban driveways the length and breadth of Britain.

But now the sight of someone cleaning their own car with foaming water, sponge and chamois leather is a rare one. Such manual labour is deemed too trivial, grubby and time-wasting for today’s modern professional, especially since every conurbation now offers its own version of the team from the best film dedicated to the subject – Car Wash, 1976 – who will usually give your wheels a once-over for a fiver.