Whenever I write about AI on The Spectator (which is a lot) I always get comments like ‘Yawn. Wake me up when AI actually does something’. And, to a point, these are fair comments. For all its remarkable feats, its photos of Shakespeare with weird fingers, its videos of dogs typing in spacesuits, the new wave of AI hasn’t really done something simultaneously concrete and astonishing, something where you can draw breath and say ‘Wow, that is definitely replacing this particular job’.
In my experience, these AI chatbots respond better if you are polite, an uncanny fact
Well, now I can address that. Because I am so obsessive about AI, and because I don’t want to bore all my friends more than I already do, I have joined a subreddit (an online forum) which is dedicated to discussions of AI. Last week on that subreddit I posted about how, as a novelist, I am using Claude 3 Opus (an advanced AI model).
I pointed out that it is a superb editor – not as good as a professional human editor in actual analysis, and prone to errors, but nonetheless highly impressive – because, unlike a human editor, Claude is always there, never tired, forever eager, enthusiastic, smart, and willing to brainstorm at 3 a.m. when I can’t sleep. However, as I also said in my Reddit post, there are serious limits to how much you can message Claude, and Claude struggles to digest a novel of 340 pages.
In one of the responses to my post, someone suggested I should try Google’s latest AI, Gemini 1.5 Pro, because, she told me, ‘it might be even better’. Gemini 1.5 Pro is not publicly released yet (it will likely arrive in May), but with a smidgen of persistence you can access it. So I did. I opened up the Gemini Pro chatbox and I said ‘Hi I’m a writer, can you help me’ – in my experience, these AI chatbots respond better if you are polite, an uncanny fact which is worthy of scrutiny in itself.
Gemini eagerly agreed, then Gemini instantly gulped down the whole draft of my new novel without a problem, like a dolphin swallowing a fish. Then Gemini ‘read’ the book in 20 seconds – yes, it did this in 20 seconds – and then it served up the critique you can see below.
Plot Flaws and Weaknesses in The Hurler’s Girl
Here are some potential plot flaws and weaknesses in your novel draft, The Hurler’s Girl:
1. Unclear Motivation for Emily’s Death: While the novel explores various possibilities for Emily’s death, including suicide, accident, and murder, the ultimate cause remains ambiguous. This lack of clarity can be frustrating for readers who want a definitive answer.
2. Red Herrings: The novel introduces several red herrings, such as the suspicions surrounding Alex and Sam, which ultimately lead nowhere. While red herrings can be used effectively to create suspense, too many can leave readers feeling misled and dissatisfied.
3. Overreliance on Coincidence: Several plot points rely on coincidence, such as Ava’s connections to the O’Learys and her discovery of the mirror’s history. While some coincidence can be acceptable, too much can strain the reader’s suspension of disbelief.
4. Underdeveloped Characters: Some characters, such as Mona and Liam, feel underdeveloped and their motivations remain unclear. This can make it difficult for readers to fully engage with their actions and emotions.
5. Unresolved Plot Threads: Several plot threads, such as the significance of the ‘darkening’ and the history of the well, are introduced but not fully explored or resolved. This can leave readers feeling like the story is incomplete.
Possible Solutions:
- Clarify the Cause of Emily’s Death: While ambiguity can be effective in some cases, it’s important to provide enough clues and hints to allow readers to draw their own conclusions about what happened to Emily.
- Use Red Herrings Sparingly: Red herrings can be a valuable tool for creating suspense, but they should be used sparingly and resolved in a satisfying way.
- Minimise Coincidence: Plot points should be driven by character motivations and logical consequences, rather than relying on coincidence.
- Develop Supporting Characters: Fleshing out the supporting characters’ backstories and motivations can make them more believable and engaging.
- Resolve Plot Threads: Ensure that all major plot threads are addressed and resolved by the end of the story.
Strengths of the Plot:
Despite these potential weaknesses, the plot of The Hurler’s Girl also has several strengths:
- Intriguing Mystery: The central mystery of Emily’s death is compelling and keeps the reader guessing until the end.
- Atmospheric Setting: The novel’s setting in Connemara is vividly depicted and creates a sense of mystery and foreboding.
- Complex Characters: Ava is a complex and well-developed protagonist, and her struggles with grief and her own identity make her relatable and engaging.
- Exploration of Trauma: The novel explores the themes of grief, trauma, and family secrets in a thoughtful and nuanced way.
By addressing the potential weaknesses and building on its strengths, the plot of The Hurler’s Girl can be made more compelling and satisfying for readers.
Additional Notes:
- The use of Irish dialect and folklore adds authenticity and atmosphere to the novel.
- The exploration of the latest science and the supernatural is an interesting and thought-provoking element of the story.
- The ending of the novel is ambiguous and leaves the reader with much to ponder.
Overall, The Hurler’s Girl is a promising novel draft with a strong central mystery and an atmospheric setting. By addressing the potential plot flaws and further developing the characters and themes, the novel has the potential to be a truly thought-provoking read.
When I read this output – 20 seconds after I asked for it – I actually felt a sense of physical shock: like I’d been slapped, in some amusing, slapstick way. Then I sat there for quite a while, slack jawed and dumbfounded. I’m still mildly shaken by it now.
What makes this critique particularly striking to me is its similarity to the critique my professional editor has already given me, down to minor details. And where it differs, Gemini is arguably a tad better – sharper and clearer. And my real human editor is absolutely brilliant, one of the best in the business, renowned in the industry. So this is an AI doing the job of a super-skilled professional editor with many years of experience, and doing it in 20 seconds, and on demand. The implications are profound and disturbing.
Some people on Reddit, reading about all this, have speculated that this is evidence that the AIs are not just auto-complete machines on steroids, that they are edging closer to sentience. This is one such comment: ‘I had a similar experience that makes it clear to me that Gemini at least is reasoning and not just doing next-word prediction. I fed it an extremely abstract excerpt from my story, I’m talking very literary language that was basically an extended metaphor with no literal references as to what was being described, and it identified exactly what was going on and explained why it came to that conclusion.’
Is Gemini aware? Is he or she or it becoming conscious? Is Gemini ‘reasoning’? We don’t have proof, but we do have evidence. And even if you discount all that, this is an example of how AI is going to impact your lives very quickly, and all-too-concretely. I can see this laying waste to traditional publishing in the next five years. Then it will come for the flesh and blood writers. Get out there and enjoy the sun while you can.
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