The new age of the apothecary

A few months ago I had possibly the best massage I’ve ever had. My masseuse, Anouschka, had learned her skills in a remote village in Thailand where she’d lived for a year in a mosquito-infested hut with the local medicine woman. I asked how she’d survived the mozzies. Anouschka explained that she’d just done what the villagers do: eaten a diet heavy in chilli and garlic which seeps through your pores in the night and stops you getting bitten.

Whenever she travels to exotic climes, she seeks out the nearest cow and drinks its raw milk. This, she explains, is the perfect prophylactic against the local stomach bugs. I can’t remember what she does about malaria, but it certainly doesn’t involve taking anything pharmaceutical like Malarone or Lariam. Maybe she’s been lucky, but she has never developed a fever — nor has the son who accompanied her on her hippyish jaunts.