The missing sixth

I’m confused. Did five-sixths of the world’s population really watch Live8? If so, what did the other sixth think they were doing? Did they ask permission? I and my friends were playing cricket on the day, and during the tea interval, while stuffing cheese and pickle sandwiches into our faces, we naturally and automatically tuned into Williams v. Davenport on BBC1. (The pavilion didn’t have Sky Sports for the cricket.) But we all agreed that, if any market researchers or undercover policemen challenged us, we would say we watched Live8 like everyone else. ‘Pink Floyd were good, weren’t they?’ we rehearsed. ‘And why on earth were The Who given only two songs?’

Musically, of course, Pink Floyd were the story of the day. Impartial observers had long assumed that it would be a cold day in hell, with an Englishman as Wimbledon champion and the moon found to be made of cheese, before Roger Waters and David Gilmour kissed and made up — but there they were, on stage together, apparently cheerfully playing four old Floyd songs.