Boris’s ‘lobster law’ is ridiculous

Sometimes, there is only one conclusion to be drawn – that somehow, the calendar is stuck. Though days appear to pass, it is still April 1.

The latest example of April foolishness concerns shellfish. A Bill on animal rights is currently going through the House of Lords, and the government seems minded to accept an amendment which would acknowledge that crustaceans and molluscs are sentient beings and therefore must have rights.

In the case of lobsters, this would mean that they could no longer be cooked by being thrust, still alive, into boiling water. As it happens, there is a good culinary case for putting lobsters into cold water and bringing it slowly to the boil. That is supposed to be more humane. Much more to the point, it also makes the lobster taste better.

But there is a point which is even more important than haute cuisine: why on earth should ministers be concerning themselves with lobsters? Millions of school children may have suffered educational damage due to the lockdown.