The lunatics have landed

I remember the moon landing very well. I was nine years old. I can remember too my sense of outrage and disillusion. ‘This is a blatant violation of the moon’s dignity and sovereignty,’ I told my parents, as the astronauts Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong attempted to secure the US flag to the lunar surface. ‘An act of imperialistic, Zionist barbarism and a statement of intent from the American government that it intends to export its white supremacy throughout the known galaxy. You will note that no people of colour were chosen as astronauts, nor women, nor people with fibromyalgia.’

A day or two later, when I had been let out of my bedroom, I informed them that the whole thing had not actually taken place, but was a sham filmed on a Hollywood lot for the benefit of Nasa, the industrial–military complex and Mossad. ‘Did you see the angles of the shadows cast by the astronauts? Klieg lights, you credulous fools.’