The joy of defying convention

I have a new love in my life; Budgie, a miniature dachshund. After collecting our little friend from Kent, she has taken over the house. I am preoccupied with how to keep her entertained. I talk about her as if she were my child. My google search history includes “tips for surviving the first 30 days with a new puppy, bonding with my pooch and how do I know if I’m becoming a dog bore?” We go out to dinner for the first time in months. Our conversation centres around how soft Budgie’s ears are and how many poos she has done that day. The topic changes course when the fastidious looking couple sitting at the next-door table roll their eyes.

The lockdown puppy craze has given rise to the latest breed of organised crime. I meet a lady in the park who tells me that a man leapt out from behind a bush, snatched her poodle and went off in a waiting van leaving her devastated.