The irresistible lure of classified ads

The great thing about classified ads is that they have not usually been created by an agency — so what you get is the advertiser’s own best efforts to announce themselves, and what they have to offer, in just 20 words or so.

You can glean a lot from what they say, and not always in the way intended. Take this particularly telling example from the Spectator personal ads a couple of years ago: ‘Looking to meet woman on HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy).’ That he added (and paid for) the last three words tells you more than he could ever understand.

Others are far more engaging — like the ‘charismatic ageing French rock star’ who, via a regular ad in the London Review of Books, offers to write bespoke songs for any occasion including birthdays, anniversaries etc. The self-deprecation betrays a firm grasp of English humour. Can he really be French?

Thanks to the internet, there are far fewer printed classifieds these days — but those that remain are often deliciously idiosyncratic.