The honour that truly stinks came from Corbyn

Another honours list comes and goes and yet again my name is not on it. I don’t think either the Prime Minister or Jeremy Corbyn realises the hurt that this flagrant oversight engenders, both in myself and of course in my public. For countless years I have tried, selflessly, to make the world a better place, to illuminate the poor and the downtrodden with the light of love. I have endeavoured, wherever I can, in my own way, to bring comfort to the sick — not only those who are physically infirm, but also mentals. And yet — nothing, nix.

More pertinently, with regard to the latest honours list from David Cameron, I was at a party at the end of last year and offered Sam Cam a fag. Given the sorts of people who Dave has ennobled, I would have thought that was worth a CBE at the very least. It was one of those parties where people kept coming up and saying to me ‘I don’t smoke, but…’ — and in this way my stock of Superkings was depleted within the hour.