Simon Hoggart

The fast and the furious

SImon Hoggart on goldfish television

issue 16 August 2008

It’s three in the morning and a BBC executive is home in bed. Suddenly he wakes up, sweating. ‘What is it, darling?’ asks his solicitous wife. ‘I had a nightmare,’ he replies; ‘I dreamed that one of our viewers was bored. Bored! Just for a moment, but, my God…’

It’s the only explanation for some of the Corporation’s programming. It seems to believe that we can’t cope with anything more than five seconds long. If it doesn’t provide us with new excitements in a constant, hectic flow, then we will — the ultimate horror — switch to another channel.

Take The One Show, which goes out on BBC1 at 7 p.m. most weekdays (though not during the Olympics). It’s a magazine programme in the tradition of Nationwide, which was, by comparison, as stately as a royal funeral.

Comments

Join the debate for just $5 for 3 months

Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for $5.

Already a subscriber? Log in