The fantasy world of Boris Johnson

In One Thousand and One Nights, Scheherazade must begin a new story every evening. She must make sure that the sultan is so eager to hear its conclusion he postpones his plans to execute her. On they go, month after month, year after year, a different story every day.

I want you to imagine Boris Johnson as Scheherazade. He is taking the stage at the Conservative party conference dressed in diaphanous silk harem pants, a velvet top with chiffon sleeves, a veil to hide his true expression, and with pearls taken from the jewellery collection of a Russian oligarch’s wife laced through his hair.

Johnson, too, knows he must come up with a new story every day. He must so entrance his supporters they never shake themselves from the web of fiction he has ensnared them in for long enough to execute his career.

At the start of the conference, the tale from One Thousand and One Nights of Boris Johnson mocked the stupid merchants in the bazaar.